Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Things today

I am sure that many of you have seen the youtube video of the kid getting beat up and fighting back. It has been spreading like wild fire. This video and a few other news stories got my mind racing. Mainly asking WHY! Why is it that kids today think it is ok to bully to this level? Why is it that kids think that it is funny to tape beatings like these? Why are there so many kids killing themselves over things in their lives? Why is there such a need for anti bullying campaigns at schools now? Why , Why why!?
Growing up I was bullied. I was picked on for any thing and everything I did. My name, my hair, my clothes, my glasses, my speech, you name it I got teased for it. I had used tampons and maxi pads stuck to my locker at school, I had people trying to beat me up all of the time. Now my clothes were not an issue .. well they should not have been but because they were not name brand enough they were wrong, My hair was not anything that should have caused and issue, my glasses well I hated them as well. My speech .... no speech impediment no accent, nothing that should have set me apart. My name was plain there was nothing that should have cause this issue.
Now I did nothing to bring on the torment that I faced all through school. I was just the designated kick toy. I kept to myself, I cried, I had no real social life. I was called a liar among other things.
But wait I am still here.... I did not kill myself, I did not best anyone up or fight back like we are seeing.
SO I am confused! Why is it that what was once a few punches on the playground is now beating someone to near death? That is right way back in the olden days when I was a kid even the bully did not want their parents to know what they had done. They would not have dreamed of taping it and sharing it with everyone. This would have gotten them into trouble! Now well let's be honest.. parents do not care! Kids will be kids. Or I took my licks when I was a kid it is just part of growing up are the responses that are given. Or my favorite one... My sweet so and so would never do anything like that ... Your kid must have started it.
We as a society have turned into a bunch of violence loving, law suit happy, responsibly ducking cowards. We do not discipline our kids when they act out.... noooo that would be wrong... they are just expressing them selves. We do not tell them no because God forbid little billy or little Suzie do not have everything they want. We do not pay attention to them because we are too worried about what we need to do next. We are so self absorbed in our own lives that we do not have time to pay attention to them.
I know I know!!! Not everyone is like this! But sit and think for a minute... I bet you it will not even take you that long... Name a kid you know that gets everything that they ask for. Now name a kid that's parents try harder to be their child's best friend than they do to be their parent. Name a child that you think God my parents would have killed me if I dressed like that. Now name the parents that buy them the clothes to dress that way. Name a teen that has had a child. Better yet name 2! Bet you can! Now name a kid that has killed themselves because of things at home or at school.
Bet you could come up with names for almost all of those.
Now think for a second and name a kid who is respectful to you when in your home. Name a child who acts age appropriate. Name a child who is on the honor roll. Name a child who does things for the community.
That one may have been a little harder.
The fact is most parents use the new electronic leash to parent their children. They have their cell phones by first grade. They are texting before they can write well. If there is a problem they can text me. I know where they are because I can GPS them...
Who lets their children watch movies or shows that are not age appropriate? How many 5 year olds have sat down and watched R rated movies... because it can not be that bad. Do you know children that can out cuss a trucker? I do!
Those of you that have children.... Ask yourself these questions. If you can not answer them I think it might be time for some good old fashioned family time! Conversation.... with spoken words... nothing typed on facebook or in text or email.
Name 5 of your children's friends... first and last names!
Now name at least one of their parents names and phone numbers for each of the 5.
What is your child's favorite color?
What is your child's favorite subject?
If they are of dating age who is their Boy/ girlfriend? Parents?
What does your child watch on tv? The computer?
How many of your child's facebook friends do you know?
What does your child want to be when they grow up?
Was that harder than you thought it should be?

Why are the kids of today acting like animals? The answer is simple. Parents are not parenting! Teachers are asked to be more a parent than educators. We allow our children to watch things that we would never have been allowed to watch. We allow our children to disrespect us and others. We allow our kids to "be who they are" in place of raising them to be successful productive members of society.
What will it take for us as a society to stand up and say enough! Become active in our children's lives and start to swing things back to where they should be! Teach your children morals, ethics and values! Teach them right from wrong. Teach them to respect others and themselves.
Be a part of their lives. You are not supposed to be their friend! You are supposed to raise them! This means they might not like you from time to time. It happens! Stop being afraid to parent! Let your child know that you are there no matter what. Do not assume that they know! Let them know that they can tell you anything. Not without discipline when wrong has been done but with love for the honesty.
Get to know your children's friends. Let them know they can come to you as well!
You never know who you might save in the process. It is more important to be a good parent than it is to be the Cool Parent.

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